We live in a world where everything is exaggerated. The images that represent the ideas are embellished, therefore giving us a sense of disdain for the ordinary and mundane. So often, I can get caught up in the "I will be happy when..." mindset.
It used to be that I thought I would be happy when I found the perfect boyfriend (at least perfect for me). Then, it turned to "I will be happy when my boyfriend proposes and I can start planning my wedding." And after I saw all of my newly married friends facebooks and blogs about marital bliss, I thought, "I will be happy when we're married and I'm the perfect wife."
I'll let you in on a little secret... I'm no where near being a perfect wife. And married life isn't always bliss. But marriage has been up on a pedestal in my life for years and years. It wasn't until I was actually in it that I realized that sit coms and movies shaped most of my ideas of marriage and I was too scared to let them go.
Because of that, Facebook and often my blog is only the representation of what I want you to think my life is like.
For every status that says "I just cleaned the house and dinner smells awesome. Can't wait for Hunter to come home," there should be twenty that say "I'm so tired of doing housework and inventing new dinners, this isn't always fun."
For every status that says "Date night with my hubby," there should be 33 that say, "Hunter and I are in an argument, sometimes we just can't agree on things."
And every time I have said I love being married on this blog, I should have also said, "This is much harder than I thought."
So often I wish we had more date nights or exciting outings. Last night I started to think about writing this because we did something that seemed mundane and ordinary but I treasured. We played Scrabble while watching Emma (I heart Jane Austen). Hunter doesn't like playing board games and Emma was not his first pick for a movie, but he did it for me.
Seven months in I'm learning to love the ordinary more and more and let go of the idealized view I had of marriage. A life of commitment means giving maximum commitment even when there are minimum results. I am so thankful that even when we are in the down part of life's ups and downs my husband gives maximum commitment to our marriage, even when it doesn't live up to his expectations, and even when I fail.
Wow, what an honest and vulnerable post Olga! I'm with you- I did the same thing before I got married, and guess what- I keep doing it even now. I keep thinking, man when Paul graduates and he gets a job and we can have kids, i'll be so much happier. I have a feeling this will be a constant temptation. Love this post and love you! :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Post. Love you girl.
ReplyDeleteHow true, Olga! I find myself thinking that same thing over and over again. "When 'this' happens, I'll be happier"! Its not true... thanks for the post!
ReplyDeleteSo true! Thanks for being honest and real! I never realized that about facebook and blogs until we started "Facebook Free February." We read Phil 2:3 this morning which says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." I feel like as women we are ALWAYS trying to one-up other girls - esp through creating false perceptions of ourselves in the cyber world. So I appreciate this post a lot! Okay I'm done rambling now! :)
ReplyDeleteamen! love that you posted this - we all know it's true and although we love our husbands, they are hard work and so is marriage! thankfully it's usually worth the hard work though. love you and your vulnerability! :) and sydni - your post is so true too. i miss you guys!!!
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